In a blinding flash, Aaron’s sons are obliterated by
God. When he is then prevented from
mourning their deaths, Aaron is dumbstruck.
What words can convey the depths of despair? How are we to name emotions that bombard us
like a hurricane? In the face of
tragedy, silence is sometimes the only response.
When speaking with someone in mourning, we are tempted to fill
the air. “Everything’s going to be
OK.” “He’s in a better place now.” “Did you catch the game?” These comments are sometimes soothing. Sometimes they are not.
Our tradition teaches that when visiting a house of
mourning, the mourners set the tone. If
they want to share memories, we share memories.
If they want to want to talk philosophy, we talk philosophy. If they want to discuss baseball, we discuss
baseball. And if they want to sob, we
let them.
When you don’t know what to say in the face of death,
consider this: “I am sorry for your loss.”
Then, be silent.
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