Friday, April 5, 2013

Shemini 5773

“And Aaron was silent.”

In a blinding flash, Aaron’s sons are obliterated by God.  When he is then prevented from mourning their deaths, Aaron is dumbstruck.
What words can convey the depths of despair?  How are we to name emotions that bombard us like a hurricane?  In the face of tragedy, silence is sometimes the only response.

When speaking with someone in mourning, we are tempted to fill the air.  “Everything’s going to be OK.”  “He’s in a better place now.”  “Did you catch the game?”  These comments are sometimes soothing.  Sometimes they are not.
Our tradition teaches that when visiting a house of mourning, the mourners set the tone.  If they want to share memories, we share memories.  If they want to want to talk philosophy, we talk philosophy.  If they want to discuss baseball, we discuss baseball.   And if they want to sob, we let them. 

When you don’t know what to say in the face of death, consider this:  “I am sorry for your loss.” Then, be silent.

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