Friday, November 14, 2014

Chayei Sarah -- 5775


Abraham sends his servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac.  The man is remarkably quick about it: he identifies Rebekah within moments of arriving in the Old Country.
Rebekah is one of my favorite characters.  I love her drive to do chesed as she tends to the traveler and waters his camels.  I love her self-determination, accepting the offer of marriage on the spot.    She’s upbeat and looks to the future.  Rebekah’s got spunk.
Her brother Laban, however, is sneaky and treacherous.  He’s dazzled by the array of gifts Abraham offers.  Even after the deal is struck and Rebekah determined to leave, Laban and their mother declare “let the girl stay with us another few days – ten, perhaps – afterward she may go” (Genesis 24:55). 
I find that’s a pattern with negative people.  Like black holes, their negativity feeds on pulling down positive folk, draining energy.  The more energy you give them, the more they demand.  They feel validated by making happy people feel down.
Management guru Jim Collins, in his bestseller “Good To Great,” teaches bosses that if you’d be glad to hear that someone in your employ has resigned, you should fire them immediately.  While there are important ethical obligations and we can’t expect to like everyone in our world, the lesson is an important one.  We don’t have to allow other people’s misery to seep into our own lives.  Protect yourself by building a barrier between yourself and them.
There’s no value in playing a role in someone else’s drama.  Although it’s not easy, don’t stay mired in someone’s mishegas.  Instead, take a page from Rebekah’s playbook.  When asked if she was ready to leave home, she answered plainly, her bag already packed:  “I will go.”

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