Emor 5772

Many of Judaism’s traditional mourning practices are based on verses found in Parshat Emor.  They derive from instructions to priests regarding death.

Kohanim were discouraged from having contact with a corpse, since such contact creates “ritual defilement.”  A ritually defiled priest is in a spiritual state that prohibits him from performing his duties.  (Such a state can be reversed by immersion at the mikveh so that the priest can return to his work.)   Nonetheless, a priest could knowingly become ritually defiled in order to accompany some for burial—but not all people, just those of close relations.  This suite of six relationships was the basis for the Shulchan Aruch’s determination that Kaddish Yatom (Mourner’s Kaddish) is recited only for one’s mother, father, son, daughter, brother, and unmarried sister (Leviticus 21:2-3).  Many uphold this practice today, declining to recite Kaddish for grandparents, aunts and uncles, for example, for whom they are not official mourners.  Some whose parents are living leave the room when Kaddish is recited.

Kaddish Yatom helps us channel our grief, pay tribute to our beloved dead, and acknowledge the existence of something larger than our own, bounded lives.  In our community, everyone is invited to stand for the recitation of the Mourner’s Kaddish, regardless of relationship to the deceased.  For us, the circle of concern has expanded beyond the six primary relationships.  Concern over ritual defilement has, at the same time, diminished.  When we stand for Kaddish, we stand to mourn all those we have loved and lost, whether or not that person was Jewish.  We stand to honor those lost in the Shoah who have us to recite Kaddish for them.  We stand to support those who are grieving.  We stand to praise God, and to remember.