Jacob, fresh from his encounter with the Divine, comes across three flocks of sheep in a field by a watering hole. A “good sized rock lay on the mouth of the well” (Genesis 29:2). The rock is too big for any one shepherd to move it; the shepherds must work together to move the stone and access the water beneath. When Jacob arrives, the shepherds are waiting for enough hands to gather so that they can get the job done.
Jacob lays eyes on Rachel, a young shepherdess (and his cousin) with whom he is instantly enamored. He moves the stone all by himself, allowing the flocks to drink.
Rashi, the medieval commentator, thinks that Jacob is eager to show off his great strength. Or, perhaps, he was impatient to spend some quality time with the young woman. In either case, Jacob’s actions, while in service of the community, serve his own interests more. A more gracious tact would have been to work with the shepherds to roll the stone, as was their custom. I wonder what happened the next day, and the days after that? Did Jacob, now resident, join the team, or did he always move the stone by himself? Did the others come to rely on him? How did they feel towards him? What local balance was thrown off by Jacob’s bravado?
Sometimes, in helping others, we are in fact more interested in helping ourselves. Sometimes, the way we help others creates immediate benefit but long term harm. The best help is help that is both egoless and that also fosters no dependence. It’s a delicate, but important balance to strike.
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