Vayera -- 5776

I admire Abimelech, a local warlord whom Abraham and Sarah visit. 

Abimelech and Abraham squabble when Abraham accuses Abimelech’s servants of stealing water from Abraham’s well – a substantial violation in the desert.  Abimelech replies “I do not know who did this; you certainly never told me, nor did I hear of it until today” (Genesis 21:26).  The two men set things right.

Abimelech is clear:  he expects Abraham to communicate properly and tell him what’s going on.  He is not responsible for what he doesn’t know.  Too often today, people imagine that others know what’s happening, that we can read their minds and understand their feelings without being told.  Such people are more inclined to live with disappointment than to ask for what they need.

“Rabbi, you didn’t visit me in the hospital,” I’ve sometimes heard.  “I’m so sorry about that,” I reply.  “I would have liked to but I didn’t know you were there.  No one told me.”  

“My mother should have known that would upset me.”

“My boss is giving me too much work so I’m going to quit.” 

Abimelech, on the other hand, requires and provides effective communication from his fellow.  This promotes a life of simplicity, integrity, and honor.