Yitro -- 5776

Photo:  Geir Magne Saetre

Anshe Emet – People of Truth.”  Moses’ father-in-law, Yitro, calls for him to designate such people to serve as chiefs within the community (Exodus 18:21).  What does it mean to be a “Person of Truth”?  How can this aspirational title serve to enhance our lives?

To be a Person of Truth is to hold a metaphorical mirror up to yourself so that you can see yourself as you truly are.  It means being honest about your weaknesses, strengths, abilities, and deficits.  It means owning your past, your relationships, your desires, and your fears.  It means getting real with yourself, even when the truth hurts.  People of Truth adhere to their principles even when it’s difficult to do so.  They keep their word. 

Many of us engage in self-deception, telling ourselves stories of who we are that don’t match objective reality.  Sometimes we believe ourselves to be greater than we truly are (smarter, funnier, more beautiful, more successful), and sometimes we believe ourselves to be less than we truly are (dumber, duller, plainer, less worthy). We become confused when others (spouses, children, bosses, teachers, physicians, for example) don’t see us as we see ourselves.  Mussar leader Alan Morinis describes humility as “taking up the right amount of space” – understanding our true role in any situation, not requiring extra attention nor forgoing our due of sunlight and oxygen.  To do so, we must see ourselves accurately rather than believing our own press.  How tricky this can be!

Honest self-reflection and awareness is no easy feat.  It can hurt.

One way to begin is by looking into an actual mirror for no less than five minutes, noticing each feature, owning your body as it is.  At times this can be painful; at other times, surprising or inspiring.  It’s always insightful.  Another way is to listen deeply to people whose opinions matter, and who are willing to be honest with you.  Many people use therapy to gain insight into themselves.

A slight shift of vowels turns the Hebrew word “emet” into “amoot” – from “truth” to “I will die.” 

That each of us will die is itself among the ultimate truths.  Before the truth of mortality, self-deception becomes petty and meaningless, the chatter of so many birds.  Dishonesty is an impediment to a life lived fully.

What is true about you?