The Blame Game: this
week’s parsha is filled with it. The
people insist that Moses, not God, took them out of Egypt – and that they were
passive in the process. The people made
the famous molten calf, says God – not Aaron.
The people told to me to make it, says
Aaron – I didn’t want to. Later, he asserts
that he didn’t make it at all — he collected the people’s gold, hurled it into
the fire, the calf emerged out fully formed! You did/I didn’t/He did/They did. Are these characters even in the same story?
It occurs to me that the first verse of Pashat Ki Tissa
holds an answer to these multiple perspectives.
“When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down the
mountain…” (Exodus 32:9). Moses, we know, is busy doing the holy work
of receiving the Torah. Nonetheless, the
people are lost without him. They need
to see him, hear him. His presence is
reassuring.
Isn’t this the way with most misunderstandings? They occur because we’ve lost touch with each
other, failed to check in with each other, speak meaningfully, and listen well. Confusion develops into misunderstanding, and
can lead to mistrust, resentment, anger, and hurt. It builds up and up until we are consumed in
fire.
What’s true of interpersonal relationships is true of communal
ones, too. If there’s something you
don’t understand about our synagogue, if there is something
you don’t like, please speak with the appropriate person. That might be me, Beth Olson, the Religious
School Directors, or an officer. We want
the chance to hear you so that we can serve you better. The feedback we receive can lead to change –
as happened recently when two couples spoke with me about the marriages I
perform. I heard them, asked questions,
and changed my approach.
We can only hear each other when we’re present for each
other.
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